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September 12, 2011

I stopped working on this site in 2005 to pursue a career in film music. I have left it up as a resource for other transgender youth but apologize for the unanswered emails and broken goals.

My trans activism and music career have overlapped recently though, and I wanted to share it: I am the composer and music supervisor for Genderfreak, a trans-friendly teen drama. Below is our music video and kickstarter campaign:

Another update, I also created a popular youtube MIDI tutorial video with a trans disclaimer at the beginning.

Please check out the Trans Youth Support Network for a more active community. Thanks and rock on with your beautiful selves.


February 23, 2005

So, I haven't updated this site in over a year, but I'm still thinking about it. I'm very busy but I'm online all the time, so I installed this individual chat program. If I'm online, click below to chat with me. I'd love your input on what you'd like to see on this site and where you think it should go. Thanks.

January 5, 2004
The loss of Tesia Samara

Image courtesy of the Texas Triangle

The transgender community mourns the loss of yet another transgender youth, Tesia Samara, 15, who committed suicide on November 18, 2003. According to the Texas Triangle, Tesia was transsexual and lived in the small town of Rockdale, Texas, where the pressures of being different became too much for her.

What's especially tragic about this story is how far Tesia had gotten--after watching an Oprah show on transgenderism, she decided she wanted to begin hormone therapy and wanted to have a sex-change operation. She had researched gender dysphoria and had been taking hormones for three months. She even came out to her family and had their support as well as the support of a few friends.

School though, was another issue. There are rumors that she was assaulted at school the same day of the suicide, possibly triggering it. She was also taunted and called “gay boy, fag boy, hair girl" among other things every day at school.

Tesia seemed to have done everything she could have done to keep her sanity. She came out to her family and friends. She researched transgenderism on the internet. She started transitioning. She was seeing a therapist. She wrote poetry about it. She even asked her teachers for help, writing, “I mainly run into sticky situations at school... I wanted you to know this so that maybe you can help me to avoid some the hard and embarrassing times I could have. So if you happen to call me ‘her’ on accident, let’s just say that I wouldn’t be unhappy.”

It takes unbelievable amounts of cruelty to drive someone to take their own life away. And requests for help like this should be taken more seriously. Still, this teacher and the boys who taunted her are not to blame, but society is for making the boys think that it was ok to treat her like that. So let's start changing it.

To people who taunt people like Tesia--your words have power. Speak carefully. Treat others as you would have them treat you. Have empathy for those different than you. Not everything you don't understand is wrong. Learn how to heal from pain given to you instead of passing it on.

And to trans youth like Tesia...Things will get better. You're on the right track. Don't give up. College is a whole other world than you know. High school isn't real. When you get older you can become independent and control your own life. And not everywhere is like Rockwell, Texas. Hold on.

Poetry by Tesia Samara

Thinking Pains

All of the time

I see myself thinking

Thinking all inside

Dreaded thought to thought

Carefully linking

Bringing my death in shapes and size

I’m self-destructing thinking

Submerged to lose

I am sinking

Nest of serpents

My own twisted mind

Creative manner to deal in living

Grown to stern

Ripped at stern

Evil in root

I see myself thinking

All of the time.


Took a turn too far

To trespass

To know that I am nothing more

Than an error in eternity

Held hands, to keep me here.

But that hand slipped,

Clover discolored,

Misintended as I was blighted;

We never meant to be this.

January 5, 2004
New Server

Transyouth.net will be switching to a new server soon. The domain and email accounts will remain the same but the newer server should have much less frequent outages. Static content (stories, pictures, JTCP) should transfer seamlessly while dynamic content (blogs, chat, the new glossary) may take a couple days to reset.

January 5, 2004
Yahoo! deleted Teencd

With no prior warning, Yahoo! deleted my juliateencd@yahoo.com email account and teencd, my teen crossdressing email group started in 1997 which now had over 3,034 members. When I asked Yahoo! why they did this, they replied with the generic, "Yahoo! may, in appropriate circumstances and in its sole discretion, remove or edit any content and/or terminate the accounts of users who appear to have violated the Terms and Conditions." And when I protested and asked why did they do this, this is five years of work lost, can't I contest this or at least have the email list, they simply sent me a blank response.

Needless to say, I won't be relying on Yahoo! anymore. This is what happens when companies get too big; I used to be a big fan of Yahoo for being different; obviously I'm a fan no longer. Yes, I will start a new transyouth email group, and perhaps distinct MTF and FTM groups if they're requested, and they will not rely on Yahoo!. Please be patient as I set them up and as I get everything transferred to the new server first.

October 29, 2003

Check out my new pictureblog! More updates coming soon.

  October 19, 2002

Image courtesy of pe.com/AP/KGO-TV
Click for full story
In Memory of Gwen Araujo Full Story
Our thoughts and prayers go out to the friends and family of Gwen Araujo, 17, who, on her first day out in a skirt, was beaten to death at a party by three men.

Gwen has been described as a beautiful person both inside and out and always smiling. She lived in Newark, CA, a small town 30 miles from San Francisco, the supposed gay capital of the United States. She is constantly referred to as a male crossdresser by the name of Eddie Araujo in all news reports, but she expressed the desire to have a sex change and preferred the name Gwen.

This is yet another case in the trend of violence against the transgender community, and more disturbingly, murders of transgendered youth. The public needs to be educated and these killings must stop. A candlelight vigil was held for her by 100 friends and family members on Friday evening. Contributions may be sent to Eddie Araujo Jr. Memorial Fund, San Benito Bank, 300 Tres Pinos Road, Hollister, CA, 95023. More information will be posted as it becomes available.


October 19, 2002
National Day of Remembrance, November 20, 2002 Web Site
The fourth annual Transgender Day of Remembrance will take place on November 20 to remember those who were killed due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice, including the 27 reported transgendered people murdered within the last year. Vigils are already planned in 36 cities, and more are still being organized. Many also will "black out" their website on the Day of Remembrance. The event is held in November to honor Rita Hester, whose murder on November 28th, 1998 kicked off the "Remembering Our Dead" web project and a San Francisco candlelight vigil in 1999. Rita Hester's murder -- like most anti-transgender murder cases -- has yet to be solved. Join other transgendered activists to remember those who have fallen, to represent transgendered youth, and to raise awareness about hate crimes against transgendered people.

October 1, 2002
National Study Explores Transgender Awareness Full Story (on planetout.com)

A new national study by The Human Rights Campaign shows that while most people accept that a person can be transgender, more education is needed to help people better understand the lives of transgender Americans. The study shows that while the majority of Americans have heard of "Transgender" (70%), and most want to treat transgender Americans fairly and protect them from workplace discrimination and hate crimes. However, the majority of Americans also "report being uncomfortable about transgender issues, especially when confronted with the challenges that transgender people face," said David Smith, director of HRC communications.

Source: Planetout.com


Copyright 2004 Jordan Balagot | Transyouth.net