Ask Julia

Do you have a question you'd like to ask me? Email me and I may answer it on this page. Please tell me if you want your email published!

Julia, my question is, you told us your experience in the eighth grade, when you had a negative reaction to your crossdressing. So what changed you from then to now? Was it a gradual thing, or was there one event that changed your mind? - Anonymous (no name given and I don't want to give out the email)

No one really convinced me to change my definitely happened gradually. There were a couple of things that helped me accept myself though. For one, although I thought crossdressing was sick, I still did it so often that I guess I just got used to it. I've also gotten a lot more open-minded about lots of things over the past few years, and I realized there was no reason for me not to be open-minded about transgendered issues. Also certainly the internet helped. Meeting other crossdressers or going to their web sites helped because I knew there were tons of other people out there just like me. In particular, Diane has a nice page which includes an open Q&A forum. She seemed to be an expert on this stuff, so I asked her if I would ever grow out of my crossdressing habits. When she told me I probably wouldn't, I realized I'd have to accept it about myself eventually, though it took me quite some time to finally do it. And finally, coming out to my friends and having positive reactions from them has secured my self confidence, and having this web site even made me proud to be a crossdresser.

What appeals to you about crossdressing? - Anonymous

When I started crossdressing, first and foremost it was the feel of the clothes. Compared to men's clothes, women's clothes are so soft and flowing and wonderful. Now though it is the ability to express myself through clothes. Nice looking women are attributed to being graceful and beautiful and nice looking men are attributed to being handsome and strong, but although both ideals can be beautiful, being graceful and beautiful appeals to me more. Men's clothes are so restricting, and I feel stiffled in them.

My Question is, why do you feel you have to put on women's clothing to be feminine? Why can't you be feminine in men's clothing? - Anonymous

This is a question I get a lot. And it's hard to answer. In some ways, I can be, and am feminine in men's clothing. And I don't change personas when I put on women's clothing. But a large part of it is that I like looking feminine, and while a girl can put on jeans and a T-shirt and still look feminine, I can't. I need the advantage of having feminine clothes to look more feminine.

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